Why Is Everything My Job?

Mom-ing can be overwhelming without throwing a divorce on top — but you can shift resentment into empowerment

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Motherhood isn’t for the faint of heart...that’s for sure (especially during divorce).

Mom-ing should come with an honorary Master’s degree in multitasking, don’t you agree? We birth, nurture, organize, run households, communities, businesses, charities, make dinner, help with homework, fold laundry — and fill out divorce docs. Then do it all over again the next day. Phew.

I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t change it for the world (well, maybe the divorce part). Sure, there are days when you flop your exhausted bones into bed wondering where the hours went.

Perhaps tomorrow will be different, but I want you to remember that your kids will only be this age once — and your life will only be this full in this way right now. Try your best not to miss the ride no matter what is unfolding in your life.

I repeat: Your kids will only be this age today. Tomorrow it is gone, and you can’t get it back. So how do you want to spend this day?

I’ve been hearing a lot of complaints lately from mamas in our program who feel overwhelmed and then a bit embittered by the fact that despite how they arrived at this moment, they are the ones left to initiate the divorce process in all of its complexity and hard work.

I know that’s a lot, especially because it’s all new territory — and let’s face it, who has the time to take on anything else. But this is temporary. The divorce will be finalized, but HOW you get yourself and your kids through it matters.

I gently try to remind my mamas that getting to steer the ship is a blessing — they can take charge of who they work with, how they work with them and move it along in a way that feels resonate to their desires.

Yes, it can be exhausting to take on yet another task, but many women who lose their voices in marriage can find them in divorce...and let them be heard.

Don’t see this as another job, taking on another task, feeling taken advantage of (yet again). Don’t let it hijack your joy and your present moments. Instead, see this as taking back your power — implementing your wisdom, intuition and heart — doing life on your terms.

When mamas lean into their own capabilities and take charge of the shifts they want in their lives — they become the change they want to see in the world. Don’t lose sight of the endgame, mama. Your new chapter is awaiting you on the other side of resistance. Are you ready to reach for it? I hope so.

Intuitive, grounded, heart-centered mamas can also become the CEO of their divorce (and destiny).

—Kristen Noel, Certified Intuitive Divorce Coach | Editor-In-Chief, Best Self Magazine