What If...

What if you could rewrite the story and everything could work out for you during your divorce and after...

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What if you could change your entire narrative — shift how you tell the story, how you experience it and how you land at the other side of your divorce experience? Yes, YOU, mama.

I’m popping in here to remind you that you can. Happy endings aren’t just for fairy tales — they are written and created.

Bear with me a minute.

Yes, I know that many of the mitigating circumstances that contributed to your landing here in this divorce were beyond your control — especially the behaviors and choices of others — but I’m not letting you off the hook so easily.

Why?

Because I want you to heal through this life upheaval. I want you to make meaning of the mess and I want you to author a new chapter in your story because I don’t want you to repeat the behaviors and beliefs that got you here.

I recently had the pleasure of taking in a Broadway show in New York City. And as always, it delivered in a big way. Beyond the bright lights, show tunes and excitement — it had me thinking of YOU and all the mamas currently in our program, those to come in the future, and each and every one out there navigating divorce in all of its complexity.

& Juliet is a modern-day ‘what if’ story of possibility.

What if Juliet wasn’t a damsel in distress, what if she didn’t end it all over Romeo and instead wrote a different ending for herself, what if she designed her own happy-ever-after ending — oh...and SPOLIER ALERT: did I mention that she did it on her terms?

Hmmm. What if?

Well, she did (at least on Broadway) and it was so empowering, invigorating and inspiring. I don’t think there was a woman in the theater (going through a divorce or not) who didn’t feel moved by this rewrite. Frankly, I think it had everyone editing their own life chapters in their heads.

Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet is just so 1590’s — and could use an update with some serious revisions. In the play, William Shakespeare’s wife, Anne Hathaway, confronts her famous playwright husband to ditch the tragic endings. And let’s just say that, like a dog with a bone, she wasn’t having it any other way!

The same applies to you.

You don’t need to stay stuck in a Shakespearean tragedy of your own.

No, mama, you can pick up your quill and craft a new ending.

Now, I’m not trying to make light of your divorce in any way, shape or form. I know you are going through a lot — navigating feelings, big decisions and overwhelm. I know it’s not easy. I know the upheaval and all the uncertainty and vulnerability that accompanies it.

Deep breath.

It starts with awareness.

Where did I go off track?

Where did I lose pieces of myself?

Where did I learn to package myself?

Gather that intel and just be with it. Don’t judge it. Don’t shame it. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s just information, only part of the story.

Now what?

You tell me.

What do you want? How do you want to be? Where do you want life to go?

Start writing it. And while you are at it, remind yourself of all that you have done RIGHT. We’re so quick to point out our missteps, what about the places we made good decisions for the right reasons? What about all the times we navigated life adversity with grace? What about our beautiful accomplishments?

You are allowed to celebrate yourself...in fact, I highly recommend it.

Big or small, please recognize yourself and all the progress you have made...even just being here in this moment of uncertainty...look at you, reaching for a better way...trying to divorce differently.

I wish you could see what I see in you. And as I always say, you don’t need to be saved, mama — you need to be seen.

What if you could become the heroine of your own divorce (and life) story? Remember, there is life after Romeo, mama.

— Kristen Noel, Certified Divorce Coach & Founder, Best Self Intuitive Divorce