Truth Telling

Divorce is your opportunity to clear up all the untruths you’ve been living, perpetuating and presenting

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You know what’s refreshing?

Truth.

Seems obvious, right? Well, not so obvious after all...especially for us mamas. We acquire PhD’s in packaging ourselves, stuffing down our emotions and prioritizing the needs of everyone else above our own — people-pleasing all the way.

Consequently, we get cranky, weary from pretending and pasting a smile upon our faces to mask the discomfort. But we can only pretend for so long.

Eventually truth emerges because something has to give — which is likely how you finally made your way to here, on the precipice of a divorce.

UGH.

When I recently received a private message on social media from an acquaintance, I wrote back and asked how she was. It was a cheery and light exchange...until it wasn’t.

And yet, her response was so refreshing, “Honestly, not great.” And she proceeded to share some of those circumstances.

It caught me a little off guard, but I appreciated it so very much. It’s amazing how quick we are to respond in guarded untruths to the simple question, How are you?

So, I ask, How are you...really?

No more pretending. No more hiding. No more packaging. No more denying.

And I also want you to refrain from guilt-tripping, beating yourself up, feeling consumed with shame. Let’s let that go. The past is past.

Divorce rocks the house (literally), but it is also an incredible opportunity to recognize where you lost yourself and to declare what you want to reclaim — to lean into the truth.

Don’t be afraid to look at it; you’ve already been carrying it around shoving it aside.

If it doesn’t feel good, lay it down. What if you were to simply start stating the truth — not the edited, buffed, puffed and camera-ready version?

And what if you were to only surround yourself with people who could handle your truth, who could stand by you, encourage you and gently prop you back up when you need it?

It’s time to get real.

Divorce is your opportunity to clear up all the untruths you’ve been living, perpetuating and presenting.

It is a chance to redefine life on your terms, to live authentically according to your heart — and to bask in the flow of its resonance.

It’s refreshing to take the mask off and to allow yourself to step into this new version of yourself for you and your kids. Isn’t that what you want for your kids, too? Isn’t that how you want them to live their lives — being true to themselves? Of course you do, but how can they do that if you don’t model it first?

This precious life is short, don’t waste another minute of it pretending to be someone you aren’t, to not see something you see, to not know something you know.

Deep breath, mama. Follow your heart, listen to your gut and allow your truth to be heard — even if it has been a long time since you’ve done that. It’s time.

So, I ask you again, How are you...really?

I walk beside mamas every day who are doing just this — telling the truth, reclaiming their lives and healing. Are you ready for the same? I sure hope so.

— Kristen Noel, Certified Divorce Coach & Founder, Best Self Intuitive Divorce