Trusting YOUR Timing

You set the clock on your own healing — the key is learning to trust it

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I know, sometimes hearing cliches like ‘trust the timing’ can make you want to punch something. When we are in pain, we want to make it stop...now...not according to anyone else’s timeline. We don’t want to hear Hallmark Greeting card lines (even if they resonate)...we just want to stop hurting.

Hey, who can blame us for wanting what we want when we want it?

But what’s that saying? “We make plans and God laughs.”

Even as a coach there are times when I want to nudge a client in a certain direction, but need to refrain. Why? Because important moves and decisions, especially in a divorce, need to be made with conviction. This isn’t about quick fixes, rather lasting change and healing.

That doesn’t mean that you don’t have guidance or support. It means that a good coach guides you to your own conclusions and helps you reactivate your own superpowers — when you are ready to do so.

So many women, especially after they feel decimated by the divorce process just don’t know where to turn first. Their emotions get the best of them. They get easily triggered. They feel defeated, vulnerable and afraid. They forget who they are.

And yes (no eye-rolling please), we need to trust the timing of life and our own healing journey. Imagine it as a divinely orchestrated production that will play out perfectly. If you know that you will get to the other side of your divorce — and you know that you will be okay — and in fact, you can control the ride...wouldn’t you exhale deeply?

Btw, all three of those statements can be true if you want them to be.

I see this in motion every day — and I see mamas marching to the beat of their own timing. And I am in awe each and every time.

Witnessing a mama come back to herself is seriously a slice of grace.

Recently, two different clients with two completely different stories, did just that. One beautiful mama, who dragged her feet month after month and made herself exhaust all alternatives — finally faced her fear and retained a lawyer. It was a huge step for her as she worried about how she was going to finance it, if this was the ‘right’ step and more pressing...how her husband would respond.

Staying in the status quo wasn’t going to fix anything, but she needed to muster her own courage — and face a lot of old stuff long hidden away that she was now ready to deal with.

When I got the text that she had moved ahead...I beamed like a proud mama...cheering out loud. We hopped on a call and I could see the visible relief in her physical self. Yes, that is what taking a step on behalf of yourself, according to your timing, looks like.

I couldn’t make her heal and certainly not heal any faster. This was set according to her own clock. And there is no other clock.

This same week, another client who went through our program knew she was ready to leave the comfy nest of our coaching — it was time to fly on her own, to implement all that she had activated and acquired. She was ready — and she felt hopeful, grounded and trusted herself to do it. And did I mention that she made it to the finish line of her mediation?

These women are no different than you. They stood where you do, but they also leaned in and committed to divorcing differently.

They didn’t know how, they just knew they wanted to — and they also knew that they wanted to learn to trust themselves, their hearts, their intuition — and their timing. And that is exactly what they did...and so can you.

—Kristen Noel, Certified Intuitive Divorce Coach | Editor-In-Chief, Best Self Magazine