Mindshift Matters

Is mindset too ‘woo’ for you? Think again. It’s actually the most powerful strategy you can harness in your divorce.

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Why is it that we have to quantify our mindset as if it is a secret undercover agent operating behind the scenes? How come it isn’t proudly invited to take a seat at the table, front and center?

Too ‘woo’?

If you are reading this and have found your way to the Best Self Intuitive Divorce, you likely see merit in making mindset shifts even if you don’t quite know HOW to get there.

And while that may be a tad ‘woo’...it’s also strategic. This isn’t about green juicing your way out of a problem (though you know I love me my green juices!). This is about setting yourself up to be supported and to navigate the process in the best way possible.

There is a right way to do this and a wrong way — and you simply can’t get it right without the proper mindset.

Sometimes it feels like an uphill battle getting people to understand that how they feel and the state they are in while going through the divorce will have a direct impact on their experience, their negotiations, the outcome and the condition they land in on the other side. This isn’t something we want to leave to chance. No winging it here. We need all hands on deck!

We’re conditioned to believe that getting our ‘ducks in a row’ with our financial statements and legal information gathering are the only components to navigating a successful divorce. Nothing could be further from the truth.

What happens in all the in-between moments when you are unraveling in fear, swimming in heartache, self-doubt and grief, when your kids are asking questions you don’t know how to answer and you are juggling it all?

Your lawyer or accountant can’t take this on, nor would you want them to. You’ve got to see your divorce through a lens that provides you with a holistic, ‘whole’ picture.

What does that mean exactly?

I get that it feels overwhelming to think about how many people you may need to get onboard to resolve your divorce, but that’s the reality. And likely, you will spend more money than you think, be tied up longer than you expected and need more help than you ever imagined.

Of course, the divorce will eventually end, but getting the support you need will directly impact how you negotiate your way through this experience and finally begin the rebuilding of life for you and your kids.

Shifting your mindset puts you in a different league.

That doesn’t mean it won’t hurt or cost or consume you temporarily. It means that you will be able to navigate this in a grounded, intuitive and heart-centered way. You will make decisions you can stand by and feel good about long after the divorce dust is settled.

It’s a mistake to push making mindset shifts off until later. Why not incorporate this integral ingredient from the start so that you can save yourself the anguish and clean-up on the back end?

If someone told you that you could save time, money and emotional suffering for you and your kids — wouldn’t you want that? Of course, you would.

At a time when you may feel powerless, this is a way to feel empowered. And there’s nothing ‘woo’ about that. Strategy is strategy, but nothing beats adding your intuition to the mix. Now that’s a mindset shift if I ever saw one!

—Kristen Noel, Certified Intuitive Divorce Coach | Editor-In-Chief, Best Self Magazine