Mercury Retrograde & Divorce

Retrograde can remind us to harness the power of our intuitive selves and move at our own pace in life (and divorce)

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She's baaaack!

We've just entered Mercury Retrograde (8/23 – 9/15) but have no fear, she actually gets a bad rap — and there’s no need to hide. In fact, you can actually learn to harness her power and dare I say...your own as well.

And let’s just say that can become quite useful during divorce.

I don’t know how much you pay attention to astrology. Personally, despite the little I know, I’m always fascinated. That said, whenever I would hear about impending Retrograde (which happens 4x a year) I wanted to run for cover.

But it’s just because I didn’t understand her.

It’s a time when the planet Mercury appears to be moving backwards and yet it’s not really doing that. It’s merely an optical illusion. Kind of like when you feel like you’ve taken 1 step forward and 3 steps backwards in your divorce negotiations.

Backwards is just an illusion. It doesn’t mean that nothing is happening. To the contrary.

Let’s take a page from Retrograde’s book. Mercury rules communication in all forms and this is where things get complicated and people believe that during this period things go wonky with technology, travel, agreements, relationships, conversations, etc.

But this is where we miss the opportunity.

Life is fluid. There are times to lean in and times to lean back. Times to push and times to pull. Times to slow down and retreat and times to push harder on the gas pedal. The same is true with your divorce.

When you tap into the power of your intuition, you become more aware of your surroundings — how you feel at any given moment, how the negotiations are making you feel, how the people in your world are impacting you, how you are showing up and interacting in the world around you.

And that intel affects everything.

Are you going with the flow or are you resisting, banging your head on closed doors, forcing — and ultimately depleting yourself and feeling defeated?

No one says that you need to have all the answers in divorce. You’re not an attorney, or financial advisor or child psychologist — but you are the authority on what feels right and good to you. Remember, that your intuition is your always-available precious 6th sense.

No matter where life has led you, no matter how many bumps in the road you’ve endured to here, no matter how much of yourself you’ve lost along the way — you are only one decision away from reconnecting all the lost pieces and parts of yourself.

As I said repeatedly in a recent group class, it starts with fierce compassion for yourself, mama. No judging allowed. No beating yourself up. Don’t get stuck in the past and all the ways that are no longer serving you. Lean into trusting yourself instead and trusting your own intuitive pace.

The gift of Retrograde is the reminder to tap into the harmony of its pace.

The same is true for you and your needs during this divorce process. For example, what may feel like a setback can actually be a necessary pivot. Even if you don’t see its benefits yet...you can trust that it is all working out on your behalf. For you, not to you.

Perhaps you need to give yourself some space, need more quiet time, to slow down or move at a different speed. Maybe you need a digital detox and more nature? Movement or stillness. Community or solitude. Whatever it may be, go ahead, allow yourself to fall into the embrace or your intuition.

She will never steer you wrong.

— Kristen Noel, Certified Divorce Coach & Founder, Best Self Intuitive Divorce