Love Notes & Happy Endings

Seeing is believing...women who stood exactly where you are found a way to write their happy ending...and so can you

—

If you are anything like me, you learn most through story. In other words, the proof is in the pudding...If she can do it...maybe, just maybe...so can I!

When we hear the story of another mama who stood where we stand, felt what we feel and not only navigated what we’re navigating...but came out on the other side triumphantly...we lean in and listen as if to say, Yes, I’ll have what she’s having.

That’s because when we hear what is possible for one person, we can envision ourselves in the story. That’s the (divorce) story we want. It also makes us feel so much less alone in our experience.

The other day when I was working away at my desk, I took a moment to sit back in my chair and smile a minute. I was thinking of my most recent grads in our group coaching program — I recounted their stories in my mind and laughed to myself thinking how there were times when even I thought...OMG she’s never going to stop being angry or she’s never going to stop crying...but they did.

We held their hands and walked beside them as the cried, ranted, raved, explored, softened, healed, and came alive again!

And yes, they came from different backgrounds and different circumstances with different wounds but there was a thread that wove through the group that united them. They had a desire to heal, to divorce differently, to keep their kids out of the conflict and hold onto a hope of a beautiful new chapter on the other side of it all.

And through the tears, the vulnerability and fury — they held onto that desire with all of their might.

Divorce is so much more than legal docs, the division of assets and parenting schedules. And as heartbreaking, anxiety-provoking, and difficult as the process can be — I always guide mamas to seize the opportunity within it all.

There is much you can do to make meaning of this mess, even when feeling so powerless. Most importantly, to make sure that the patterns, behaviors, and cycles that got you here in the first place don’t get repeated.

And before you worry that this will mean doing A LOT more, it can actually be very simple. Start with acknowledging to self that this doesn’t feel good, this isn’t the way you wanted the story to go and that you are ready to shift it.

Ask yourself, “Show me what I need to see." Then declare, "I am ready to see it differently.”

When we open our eyes and hearts, when we activate our intuition and allow our voices to be heard, healing unfolds...and it’s glorious. We also set ourselves up to make the decisions that will need to be made.

Back to my desk and my missing my recent grads...I took a few moments to text them all a little note to connect. I can’t help it, like a mama bird who recently pushed them out of the nest — I wanted to check in and see how their flight had been.

And I’m so very glad that I did. Within moments, my phone was pinging with sweet notes, happy emojis and pictures of themselves at graduations, laughing and playing with their kids, even with new love interests.

The stories, the love notes, the images...they made my heart smile. THIS was the proof in the pudding! They beamed with aliveness!

These were the kinds of messages I received:

"Good Morning! It has been nice to see you in my feed as I spread my wings and become more independent. It has been really good. I got divorced! Now I am a free woman, have a wonderful boyfriend and an awesome family life."

Or

"Things are moving along well in mediation and I’m feeling ready and confident going into it!

And love-wise, I keep falling for this new guy! Loving it!

Most importantly, the kids are all thriving and handling all the changes with a lot of excitement and ease. ❤️"

And why am I sharing this with you? Because I want you to know what is possible for YOU no matter where you are today.

Does this give you a little hope? I sure hope so.

Even if it doesn’t feel like it now...divorce is your chance to write a happy ending for yourself.

—Kristen Noel, Certified Intuitive Divorce Coach | Editor-In-Chief, Best Self Magazine