I Married a Narcissist

Life lessons come in many shapes and sizes...even narcissistic partners; standing up for yourself and breaking free is your path to true freedom

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A narcissist walks into a bar...what do you do? Marry him of course!

Been there done that. But all jokes aside, I don’t like to throw diagnoses around gratuitously, but if the label fits...

Many of the women in our program are detangling from marriages with narcissists and bullies which, quite honestly, makes the divorce process that much more complicated. Yet, on the other side of that complication is freedom and healing.

I got a text from a mama this week with a note that said, “this is me” and a meme that read:

“Narcissists lower our expectations to the point that when they withhold their abuse, you think you’re having a good day.” ~ Narcissistic Abuse Survivor

Here’s what I want to say about this. When we can finally identify the reality of our situation and admit it to ourselves, we have initiated the healing process. We are ready.

It isn’t your job to fix, heal or change anyone — it is your job to heal yourself and give voice to the truth within your heart so you can be the woman you want to be, break cycles and protect your kids.

The narcissist won’t like this, they’ll try to gaslight you. They’ll stomp their feet, make a scene, undermine you and try to regain control so they can keep things business as usual. But once you see the narcissist, you can’t un-see it or stay in the same role — and the truth is that it’s harder to remain in relationship with them than it is to leave.

Easier said than done, I know.

No one ever said that healing was easy, but no one ever regretted getting to the other side whole, grounded, empowered and living life peacefully and on their own terms. Freedom from a narcissist is worth fighting for. Go ahead and break the unhealthy chains that bind you.

Your beautiful life is waiting for you on the other side.

If you’re a mama grappling with divorcing a narcissist and wondering how you can get yourself and your kids through it all, you’ll want to listen to this conversation we had with Raven Scott, founder of the Empath & the Narcissist podcast, in this episode: 

The Best Way to Support Yourself & Your Children Through Divorce With a Narcissist. 

When Raven asked me during the interview, “Can you win with a narcissist?” I simply responded, “you’re winning if you are divorcing one!”

I hope you glean some pearls of wisdom from this chat that resonate.

—Kristen Noel, Certified Intuitive Divorce Coach | Editor-In-Chief, Best Self Magazine