Healing Isn’t Always What You Think

True healing isn’t all rainbows and roses...instead, it’s often a bumpy ride with ups and downs yet one that leads you to a beautiful new chapter

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Newsflash: Healing is anything but linear.

In fact, it is more like a ride down a curvy mountain road at high speeds in a convertible, blindfolded with your arms flailing above your head. OK, so maybe I’m being slightly dramatic with my cinematic details...but not so much.

Why? Because healing is uncomfortable.

Think of the butterfly squirming to release itself from its cocoon — shedding its past and leaning into its new incarnation. That’s you, mama, navigating divorce with all of its twists and turns.

However, along with the disruption of divorce, comes an opportunity to shed that which is no longer serving you, that which has been holding you back, making you play small, shine less, be less, feel less, believe less.

And as good as that all sounds, it doesn’t come without growing pains. It’s unnerving to step into the unknown but we need to remind ourselves how suffocating it is to remain in an unhealthy relationship, losing pieces of ourselves as we go.

I want to remind you that even when you decide to embark upon the dissolution of your marriage, even when your mind is made up and you’ve created some momentum — don’t be surprised if you have moments of great uncertainty, confusion and second-guessing yourself.

Don’t be surprised if you wake up one day and just want to pull the covers over your head and hide from the world because it just feels like too much.

That’s actually a good sign. Yes, you read that correctly.

This has come up for a few of the mamas in my coaching program lately. And while I don’t like to see them in discomfort, I know it is a part of the process — actually, it’s an indicator that they are making real progress.

How could we NOT feel the enormity of all that gets shaken and stirred up in the divorce?

This isn’t a process of quick fixes. We want sustainable tools, lasting impact and solid ground beneath us as we move forward for ourselves and our kids.

Could you see your wobble as a win? It takes courage to take steps to change our lives, to face what we may have ignored for a long time, to sit with the discomfort and vulnerability. And it takes courage to trust oneself, but when you do — there is no turning back...ever.

So, wobble away, you’re on the right path!

—Kristen Noel, Certified Intuitive Divorce Coach | Editor-In-Chief, Best Self Magazine