Divorce Talk & Kids

Divorce is about big decisions — utilizing your mama instinct and knowing how to get your kids through it needs to be on the top of the list

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On the first call with a new client, she told me that she picked our program for 2 reasons:

1. To find her way back to her intuition
2. The emphasis we have on the kids — what to say, how to say it and how to guide them through it

OK, this was complete music to my Best Self Intuitive Divorce coaching ears to say the least!

This mama realized right out of the gate where her biggest vulnerabilities were.

Of course, the divorce process has a lot of moving pieces and parts that can be completely overwhelming — from the legal proceedings, the division of assets, who gets what and lives where, parallel parenting plans, support, etc.

And they’re all important — but so is your emotional state and the wellbeing of yourself and your kids. You can’t put their BIG feelings on hold or push them to the side until the rest is cleaned up. The kids are right there beside you — witnessing, feeling, internalizing.

They need you now no matter their age — no matter how much else is on your plate.

If they are really young you might overlook that — thinking that they’re too small to understand or necessarily be affected. However, even if they are too little for a sit-down discussion, they are highly sensitive to the energy of the house and in particular, your energy.

And honestly the same pertains to teenagers — they’d likely prefer time with their friends over a dissertation about the current affairs of the house. Yet, they too need your presence and guidance.

Knowing what to say, how to say it and when to say it matters. Equally, if not more important, is knowing what NOT to say and why. Timing is also important to consider. Knowing when to discuss certain topics is nuanced as well.

But I don’t want that to freak you out — or make you feel like you need to get a PhD in child psychology in order to get your kids through this transition.

What I want you to remember is that you are their mama, and your invisible umbilical cord remains.

While a mother needs to be strategic in her divorce, she also needs to be intuitive.

She needs to remember her superpowers and she needs to get out of her head and back into her heart. She needs to know when to push forward and when to retreat backwards.

When a mama operates from a grounded, heart-centered and intuitive stance — nothing can stop her — and she can trust herself in making important decisions about her future. She is also able to tap into knowing what is best for her children without all the second guessing.

No two children will have the same needs — and there is no one like their mother who knows what those are.

This is honestly one of the most gratifying parts of this work. I get to walk beside women who are reclaiming lost pieces of themselves, learning new ways to show up for themselves and declaring their worth, their wants and desires.

And as a result, their lives are transforming — they are navigating the difficulties of divorce, making solid decisions and nurturing their children while they do it.

Divorce is a family affair. Knowing how to talk to your kids is a game-changer in every way.

—Kristen Noel, Certified Intuitive Divorce Coach | Editor-In-Chief, Best Self Magazine