Ditch the Resolutions

New year's resolutions have their place — but in reality, every moment of every day is an opportunity to shift, to rescript, to see and do things differently

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Soooo, how are those resolutions going so far? Have you fallen off the bandwagon...better luck next year?! I hear you. Best laid plans...

There’s a part of me that wants to run for cover when it comes time to sit down and make all kinds of declarations about where I’m going, what I’m leaving behind, what I’m stepping into in the new year, what’s my ‘word’, etc. ...And then there is a part of me that totally wants to get onboard with all of it.

But what if I gave you a permission slip to ditch the resolutions completely? Yep, you read that correctly. What if I told you that every day is a new year, a new clean slate to make more empowered, heart-centered and intuitive choices that are aligned with who you truly are at your core? Your year isn’t down the tubes because January 1st didn’t go off as planned.

Doesn’t that come as a breath of fresh air?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that there is anything wrong with resolutions...provided they resonate with you and provided they don’t derail you. Anything that helps you move the needle in the self-care /self-motivation department is a win/win in my Best Self book.

And I’m not advising you to just ‘wing’ the new year, sitting around waiting for magical unicorns to arrive and sprinkle stardust about making everything OK. Nice as that may sound, we have to be a part of the solution.

It’s easy to get all revved up and ready to go and then get detoured. Life. Holidays. Divorce. Emotions. Unhealed trauma. Being pulled in 100 directions at once. Mothering. It all gets in the way.

The reason we usually fail with our string of broken promises is that we try to go from A to Z with nothing in between. We set our aspirations to an unsustainable level right out of the box.

Want to know what the top 5 resolutions are? Eat healthier, exercise more, lose weight, save more money, spend more time with family.

The bottom line is that we all actually already know what we need. You know if you need to eat better quality food, move your body more, sit in stillness, meditate, create, lean in or lean out. You don’t actually need anyone to tell you — you just need to learn to reconnect with this part of yourself...and then listen.

Think of it as baby steps and building blocks. Start small. Set yourself up to win and languish in that. I promise when you start to feel the sweetness of success, you’ll get pumped up and hungry for more. That’s how we create lasting momentum in our lives.

I want to remind you that no matter how your year got off to a start, no matter how bumpy, how many twists and turns — you can still shift it in the direction you choose and get back on track. Your new year can start today, in this very moment right here, right now.

If resolutions, words, journaling, new commitments and promises to self work for you...great! If not, don’t worry. Just find ‘your’ thing — the action that will support you...and build upon it.

You’ve got a lot on your plate. You’re navigating divorce, untangling complicated emotions and experiences, guiding your kids and likely juggling more than a circus act. That’s why I don’t want you to pressure yourself with resolutions.

What if you were to lean into HOW you want to feel in your life — focus on the feeling and less about the lists. For example, if you want to feel ease, peace, joy, whimsical, alive — what actions could you take to support that?

I work with mamas to help them untangle those weeds and become masterful gardeners of their own lives. I can’t even begin to tell you how powerful it is to witness another woman reconnect to herself — and to remember the woman that got buried away. It’s a divine slice of grace.

Through our pain and darkness, there is discovery and freedom...and you don’t need resolutions to get there — you need to reactivate your intuitive self so you can trust in the moves you make...and grant yourself permission to do so.

In the meantime, here is your official permission slip to ditch the resolutions.

—Kristen Noel, Certified Intuitive Divorce Coach | Editor-In-Chief, Best Self Magazine