The Cost of Indecision

There's a lot going on during divorce; emotionally, logistically, parentally. It's easy to get stuck in overwhelm and indecision...but there's a cost to inaction

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Hey there, mommas. I want to share a few thoughts about decisions (or lack thereof). When was the last time you made a move on behalf of yourself and prioritized your needs?

Does that sound selfish? Make you a little uncomfortable? What if I told you that not prioritizing yourself is actually reckless. Yep. Plot twist.

Part of the overwhelm mothers face during divorce are the enormous decisions that confront them. And then there are the roadblocks that trip them up. Heartbreak. Kids. Finances. Future. Let’s not forget about all the emotional baggage that many of us have carried our whole lives — societal and familial programming about what it means to be a mother. It’s a recipe for indecision.

The bottom line is that like it or not, divorce requires decision-making.

What do I say to my son who is beginning to act out at home and in school?

What about his father’s new girlfriend?

What’s the best approach to custody and co-parenting — and explaining this all?

How do I not get bullied into a bad settlement agreement?

How do I break the cycle that has squashed me in my marriage so that I can stand up for myself and my kids as we move into and through divorce?

What do I do with this anger?

So many new pain points, frustrations, concerns and emotions…stop the rollercoaster, I want to get off! It can be so overwhelming that we sit idle and afraid, when what we really need to do is act.

The fact is that indecision IS a decision. Not saying something is saying something. Not doing something is doing something.

We can’t hide behind fear. And sometimes NOT stepping up and taking action becomes the exact decision that keeps you in a rut, playing small, worried and stressed. Indecision is fueled by fear — the very same fear that can keep you stuck exactly in the place you are trying to escape.

Our work is about helping you step into your power so that you become confident taking those actions, so you don’t miss the opportunities, so you can be proactive rather than reactive — on the side of cause rather than effect. This is how you take the reins of your divorce — and your life — so you can regain your mojo, protect your and your kids’ wellbeing, and begin designing your beautiful next chapter ahead.

And look, I know how terrorizing and immobilizing it can feel to initiate change, to stand up for yourself and declare what you will and won’t tolerate — especially if you‘ve been ignoring it for a long time.

But ask yourself what is the price you are paying by not taking a step out of what is not working and into what could be? What is the price tag you will put on your kid’s emotional wellbeing?

It sounds harsh, but it’s reality. What you don’t address now, you will have to deal with later. On the other side of decision is change.

—Kristen Noel, Certified Intuitive Divorce Coach | Editor-In-Chief, Best Self Magazine