Back to School...Back to Divorce

There are seasons in the calendar and in life — harness the energy of September to embrace a new pace in your divorce and your desired outcomes

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Can you feel it?

The back-to-school energy has descended upon us.

The tides of change are here. It’s definitely more dramatic in climates like mine where the natural world around me is making sure I got the memo (even though I no longer have kids boarding school buses or lunchboxes to pack). The temperatures are cooling, the leaves are changing color, the sun is setting earlier...it’s undeniable. Summer is slipping through my fingers, and I feel the shift.

I bet you do too, mama.

For some, it’s more bittersweet than others. Truthfully, I need a little prodding when it comes to transition in seasons of weather and life. Maybe you can relate.

Knowing the women in this group, you may be feeling a mixed bag of emotions; a bit frazzled and worn out from taking care of everyone, their agendas and the frenetic (yet fun) pace of summer — and both a mix of anticipation; the comfort and order of routine — and the dread of having to face the current realities of your life....

Your divorce. Oh yeah, back to school, back to divorce.

Yes, it’s still there and so are all those big feelings you’ve been juggling and pushing to the side as if to say, I’ll get to this later, when the kids are back in school, when I have more time, when unicorns land in my kitchen to assist me. Ha. You get the picture.

No, the cavalry isn’t coming to save you. It’s time to save yourself. To declare what you need, what you can no longer tolerate and what you desire for the future for you and your kids.

Recently, one of my mamas hit a roadblock. She had been moving along until it came to handling certain paperwork from her attorney. Dealing with that felt paralyzing — to the point that she allowed it to sit there. And sitting there only made her feel worse about herself. It wasn’t going to magically answer itself.

I challenged her to connect to her own feelings about it — what was blocking her, how she would feel if she didn’t get through it — and better yet, how she would feel when this was behind her. Suffice it to say, we got her through it! And she is no different than you, feeling all the feels.

Divorce is a time of getting real — with how you feel, what you can tolerate, what you are afraid of, what you can control, what needs to be dealt with, what needs to be healed — and where you want it all to lead.

Ignoring the elephant in the room, doesn’t make the elephant go away!

What are you hiding?

What are you denying?

What are you pretending you don’t see?

Give yourself some grace these next few weeks as you reorder your household and life. Allow yourself to ease back into the new energy of fall that is upon us. Harness the power of back-to-school energy. How could you allow this to work for you instead of against you?

Divorce aside, I allow myself to be a bit of a butterfly during the summer. What do I mean by that? I’m a little less regimented, more impulsive and flexible — less focused on productivity and deadlines. I allow myself to wander about through my little town, stopping to have conversations or to pop into a shop to look around. Sometimes we eat dinner much later and languish on the back porch. It fills my soul and feeds me.

But I also know that I will embrace a new energy in the fall; one that is more productive and getting down to business.

Life is full of emotional seasons that need to be honored.

Back-to-school means more routine in the household, but it could also mean more time for self-care, getting clear on your objectives, following up on divorce details and utilizing this time and space for setting your intentions for what you want ahead.

There is great wisdom in knowing what you need at any given moment and trusting that. When you can lean into your intuition that may be telling you to take a nap or run off with a few girlfriends to the beach for a few days — go for it, try to make it happen in whatever big ways or small that you can.

Life can feel heavy and hard, but we can also be kind and nurturing of self as we navigate it.

So yes, the tides of change are upon us all, bringing some circumstances we cannot control along with them — just like life and divorce. It’s OK to feel sentimental about letting something go while still eagerly stepping into a new chapter, even if on wobbly legs.

What could that look like for you, mama? Where could you embrace the tides of change upon you and trust that you are ready for your next steps?

— Kristen Noel, Certified Divorce Coach & Founder, Best Self Intuitive Divorce